It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dignity is for republicans.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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