Me too!
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
