i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
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