isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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