i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
