my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
