he thought i was a dude.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
A bitchslap is in order.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
