haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
