This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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