Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
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Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
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