She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
