I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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