I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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