i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
