im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
