Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
