just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
