I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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