Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Oh god it's open bar.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize