You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
