no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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