All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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