I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
