I like my sex mixed with concussions.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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