Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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