I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
