i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.