In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are