you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
come find me please
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years