Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there