i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
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Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
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As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Someone signed my nipple.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children