I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
