If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
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