I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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