Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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