do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
