if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
