Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
