In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
