So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
