Where did you get a picture of my penis
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
God I need to hump something, right now.
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