I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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