Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
