My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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