I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
foreskin is a definite game changer
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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