Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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