if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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