I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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