whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
