you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize
