1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
