Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
