the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
