Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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