the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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