I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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