Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
So vagazzling was a success
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
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