SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
