i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
