remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
