it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
