would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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