Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
