I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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