I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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