She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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